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[prettycoolguy]

 

LEGION OMNICOMM INBOX
@ themasterchief

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[prettycoolguy]

[ The Chief steps in and takes a moment to glance around the room as Wash settles the Reaper traps. ]

What did you need?

[ He notices the little gray shape of the cat, and that's where he's looking when Wash finishes. He knew Wash had a cat, but he hasn't had an occasion to meet the animal yet.

He's seen cats before, but not often and not very close. ]

[unrecovered]

Help brainstorming for Reaper traps. I'm starting to run out of ideas.

[Not that Chief has much of a sense for slapstick, but this is a distraction plan more than anything else. Any ideas that come out of it are a bonus.]

[Then he sees where Chief's attention is, and...well, that works too.]

Have you met DC yet?

[The kitten perks up and meows. That's his name! Hi!]

[prettycoolguy]

How many do you have?

[ He's of the opinion that if Reaper keeps doing this enough to necessitate a regularly-updated collection of different traps, it would be simpler to just take it upstairs and let them deal with it. He doesn't get Wash and Reaper's thing.

Then they're talking about the cat. ]

No. I knew you had him, though.

[unrecovered]

About half a dozen, but I've used most of them. I'm going for humiliation instead of damage - water and flour, feathers and glue, that sort of thing.

[He crosses the room as he's talking, stopping by the bed and gathering DC up in his hands. He then heads back to Chief and offers him the kitten.]

Here. He likes being held.

[prettycoolguy]

[ The Chief wants to continue in his efforts to figure out why Wash is like this and if Reaper's actually a threat or what, but this handily sidetracks him. He cuts his shields and accepts DC uncertainly, shuffling a little to support the kitten's body and legs. He at least has the theory, if not the practice. He's not sure why Wash handed him the cat, but it's happening now. ]

I'm not very soft.

[ He's probably doing this all wrong, oh no. ]

[unrecovered]

That's okay. Being soft is his job.

[DC is getting bigger, but he's still a kitten, and he looks even smaller in Chief's hands. That's not about to stop him - this is a New Person and he wants to know Everything! He sniffs industriously at Chief's gloves for a few seconds, decides that's not good enough, wiggles his rear, and leaps, doing his best to scrabble his way up Chief's breastplate.]

[prettycoolguy]

[ Oh no, he's moving. The Chief raises his arms a little in case he needs to catch DC, but is hesitant to grab him. The armor is full of places for little claws to find purchase, and he is being climbed.

He looks over at Wash in mute distress. Why is this happening, please help??? ]

[unrecovered]

[Wash doesn't even bother trying to hide his smile as DC makes his way up the Chief's chest, finally reaching the top and settling on Chief's shoulder with a triumphant mew.]

He likes shoulders too.

[As though that explains everything.]

[DC, meanwhile, has decided that he's not quite done exploring and is nosing curiously at the side of Chief's helmet.]

[prettycoolguy]

[ The Chief tips his head away from the kitten's nosing, now looking back and forth between Wash and DC as he tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with a cat on his shoulder. Besides stand still, anyway.

His I-am-failing-at-being-a-normal-person sense is on fire. ]

[unrecovered]

[This is hilarious, and Wash sincerely hopes Cortana is recording it somehow.]

He doesn't bite.

...well, not hard, at least. He's a kitten.

[prettycoolguy]

What does he want?

[ There's a kitten face in his face still. Help. ]

[unrecovered]

[DC is now batting at the reflective visor with a paw. He can see another kitten in there! Come out, other kitten!]

To play, probably. Or cuddle. Kittens are pretty simple.

[prettycoolguy]

[ Nothing terrible has happened. This is probably a good sign?

The Chief tips his head, changing the angle of the reflection to see what the cat does.

He hasn't played with a kitten before, he's learning. ]

[unrecovered]

[IT MOVED]

[DC bats at the new kitten with both paws. Why are you moving where are you come ouuuuuuttttt]

[And Wash just stands there, watching and grinning.]

[prettycoolguy]

You're enjoying this.

[ That's to Wash. There's the tiniest accusation in his tone, but it's not a serious one. He's managed to successfully interact with the kitten, and accepts that figuring it out has probably been hilarious for Wash to watch.

They're friends. It's okay.

He lets DC bat at his reflection in the visor. ]

[unrecovered]

Yep.

[It's a shameless admission - this is hilarious.]

My only regret is that I'm not recording it.

[Okay, well, if that other kitten isn't going to come out, then DC is going to go in! Once he finds a way, that is. He heads towards the front of the helmet and- nearly takes a tumble off Chief's shoulder, whoops.]